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copyright 1998, 1999,
2000 The Anvil Trapeze and Ryan Moore. for questions about reproduction,
contact the webmaster (especially
if you are a hot chick) for those about to rock, we salute you
writers
Amy Bridges
Ian "Viking Elvis" Brown
Jamie "the British Bulldog" Copelan
Monique DeVries
Damon Jordan
Andy "Freddie" Krueger
"Rocker" Ryan Moore
Eamonn Oley
"Hair" Michael Rosen
Rita "Posh Spice" Velikina
Bruin Bear
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design, layout and illustration
Henry Lopez IV
Bryan Matzumoto
Ian Brown
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schedule
for Friday Night’s Hellenic activities was solemnly established
as follows, in order to bring the greatest benefit to UCLA, the
community, and to facilitate growth as young women:
8 pm: Discuss community service 8:30 pm: Bake s'mores 9:30 pm: Plan fund raiser 11 pm: Do each other’s hair 12 am: Study session 1 am: Bra and pantie pillow fight
A
frantic meeting was held to develop excuses for not admitting more
than one fat or ugly girl from this year’s pledge class, as the house
fat/ugly quota has been reached. Excuses agreed upon included:
"She’s just not Theta material,"
"not enough spirit," and
"we just had so many great girls this time, we'd love you to come
out again next quarter."
A diversity meeting was
held, and the sisters compiled the following examples of diversity
in action within the house:
Andrea constantly playing
that Enrique Iglesias CD......
Steph had her finger
on her mace when that Mexican guy talked to her on campus at night,
but didn't press the button.....
Jen went to Culver City once with her dad to get a good deal on
cute little VW Cabriolet.....
Denise snuck backstage and had sex with one of the vaguely non-white
looking guys from N’sync......
Many sisters occasionally chat with the house cook, Esmeralda, while
waiting for their dinner to be served.
voted on punishments
for Hellenic code infractions:
1) Wash all dishes for
one week
2) Firm spanking
3) No "Felicity" this week
4) Very firm spanking
5) Make out with big sister for 5 minutes
Budget breakdown for
the previous school year, presented by treasurer Candy:
$4000-- Community service
$200-- Replace pillows damaged in fight
$350-- Replace bras and panties damaged in fight
$700-- Bathroom cleaning after Steph’s "incident"
$1000-- Alcohol
$8350-- Scrunchies
$243.47-- "gross stuff"
