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In a bold move Tuesday, the
bum at the corner of Le Conte and Westwood announced that he plans to
embark on a solo career of prattling off alcohol-induced ramblings.
This news came as a shock
to the three other members of his nonsensical gibberish quartet. Said
one member "Juggyl pormoudifo ifilkca." Many a tear was shed as news of
the breakup reverberated throughout their wide fan base. One man reported
that he "gives them a quarter every day just to shut the hell up. Now
I guess they finally did."
However it seems that these
heroes of the streets won’t be silenced for long. The three plan to form
their own group, following in the footsteps of bands like the Police after
Sting left and Genesis after Phil Collins embarked on his solo career.
The lead bum has moved down two blocks, where he headlines places like
the bus stop near Rite Aid and the dumpster. He says that alcohol induced
ramblings are really more of an art, using such skills as English.
However, the hard work pays
off as he reports that he makes enough money every day for "more alchy."
Local police report that they are also really disappointed that the magic
of these lyrical masters has been destroyed by the greed of one, saying
"When they were all together we could kick them out of places much faster
and easier."
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