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Now, I’ve heard y’all talkin’,
sayin’ "dat nasty bruin bear is all about sex and nothin’ else." Well,
I’m here ta tell you the bear goes deeper than dat. This month, da bear’s
gonna drop some knowledge, just to show your punk asses.
Every day da bear walks around
UCLA- da sun is shinin’, da ladies are fine- yeah, things are pretty sweet
for da bear. But den da bear thinks of all da other bears- da ones that
ain’t lucky enough to get a mascot scholarship. Just cause the B.B. gots
a free ride don't mean he gonna forget where he came from. Let da bear
drop some facts on y’all to show ya what he’s talkin’ about.
Did ya know that there are
more young male bears in zoos than in college? So a day don’t go by dat
da bear don't think about his homebears stuck up in Griffith Park, or
in the lockdown down at S.D. They may say they got humane environments-
but fuck dat shit- a cage is a cage. Da bear gets to be a mascot- but
he knows he's one of the lucky ones.
And even for the B.B. it ain't
easy, walkin’ around a campus that is over 99% human. Half da females
just look at my huge front paws and teeth and run off screamin'. Of course
da bear is an omnivore who eats mostly nuts and berries, but dey nevertheir minds enough to know that. One or two crazy-ass punk bears
in the wild hunt a human for sport, and now every young male bear is guilty
till proven innocent. So da bear rolls by himself.
So next time ya see the bear,
think before you judge him. Da bear's layers of fat may keep out the cold
of winter, but they can’t keep da hurt outta da bear’s heart. So try to
remember, behind the razor sharp claws and deadly teeth, da bear only
wants to be loved, just like you.
Bear out.
the bruin bear
is a attends UCLA on a mascot scholarship, and is a recurring columnist
for the Anvil Trapeze. he can be contacted at thebruinbear
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