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UCLA Secret Society "Liver and Kidneys" Recalls Results of
Tap Night Liver and Kidneys, the UCLA secret society responsible for the control of Washington, Wall Street, Hollywood, the International Communist Party, and the Vatican, has announced the first Tap Night mistake in the two hundred year history of the society. During this year’s Tap Night, Lower Brother Black Orchid mistook Sidney Glick for his roommate Algernon Ayala Rockefella Vanderbilt Carnegie III, kidnapping and initiating the confused freshman. Supreme Brother LonelyCemetaryByMidnightWithSpookySpanishMossAllOver of the Inner Sanctum publicly apologized for the error. "We realized that we had made a mistake when Sidney started talking about the public high school he attended. He then accidentally pressed the forbidden Sacred Secret Red Button. We will be watching to see if he reveals the secrets of the Inner Sanctum, at which point we would have to kill him. In a confidential interview, Glick revealed that he was disappointed by the decision but promised that he would never reveal that the Inner Sanctum consists of "three guys in a bathroom downloading net porn." He also stated that he was "really sorry about that whole Kosovo thing." |