Rats Invade France, France Surrenders

(Shawn Westrick)

Paris, France

In an event described only as "very French-like" by officials at the US State Department, it was reported Tuesday that the French Parliament had been invaded by rats from neighboring Belgium. When French officials caught word of the invasion they quickly contacted the French president, Jacques Chirac, and prime minister, Lionel Jospin, who quickly decided that it was in France’s best interest to admit defeat to the superb invasion carried out by the rats. In response to the possible harsh conditions the rats may establish in France after the coup d’ etat, many workers in France showed up early to work for the first times in their lives, and it is being predicted that the French GNP may climb 2% by the end of March, with more increases in the months to come.