Dogs Cats Put Years of Fighting Behind Them

by: Shawn Westrick

Geneva, Switzerland - This week a historic meeting took place where cats and dogs gathered together for the first time in peace to sign the Poodle-Siamese Agreement, ending years of brutal fighting between the two species. Unfortunately, the week’s festivities were interrupted when a tomcat with dynamite strapped to its body walked into a crowded restaurant and exploded.

"It was horrible," says Debra Michael’s, who works at the Michael’s’ Deli across the street from the restaurant, "the cats, they all landed on their feet, but those poor dogs…it was ugly." The Poodle-Siamese Agreement lays forth the plan to have dogs move out of the East Bank of the river, a much debated region where dogs and cats have been (strenuously) living together and where both claim evolutionary rights to ownership. Although the tension was sometimes palpable, the head negotiator for the dogs did make an overt attempt at reconciliation with the cats by offering to smell the head-negotiator cat’s ass.